Capitolul 1

Actul 1

Am decis, fara vreun motiv anume, sa incep sa scriu. Tot fara vreun motiv anume, am inceput sa scriu in acest blog, aceasta pagina de internet personala. Dar ce fac acum nu se numeste scris...este doar o explicatie a inceperii scrierii. Asadar, trebuie sa ma apuc de scris.
Este seara. Stau acasa, la casa de la munte. Afara e frig, in casa e cald, lumina becului isi arunca razele asupra laptopului din bratele mele. Astazi a fost o zi frumoasa, din punct de vedere meteorologic, cu soare si cer senin in mare parte, cu temperatura nu exagerat de mult sub 0 grade...ce mai, o zi normala de februarie.
Trist este insa ca, din punct de vedere sentimental, sau chiar si din punct de vedere pur relational, ziua de azi a fost un dezastru. Am reusit sa imi distrug o prietenie si aproape sa ruinez o a doua, din motive stupide si de neinteles. Trebuie sa fac ceva in legatura cu asta. Simt ca trebuie sa ma schimb cumva, in ceea ce priveste modul in care interactionez cu oamenii din jurul meu, insa nu stiu exact in ce fel trebuie sa ma schimb...
Oare cat este de bine ca imi scriu sentimentele astea in vazul tuturor? Sper sa nu denatureze site-u asta intr-un loc in care sa vin sa-mi inec amarul si...gata. Am incheiat. De aici incolo imi tin gandurile pentru mine [in seara asta vreau sa zic] Noapte buna tuturor.

Actul 2: The cigarette

I've just finished smoking a cigarette. The last cigarette. And the second for today. Both were received from somebody, since my funds don't allow buying a pack of cigarettes.
What is it about the cigarette that fascinates us? After a while, yes, there is the addiction, which can be controlled and even stopped. But, behind the facts, what is it that makes you want to smoke still, even though you know it's bad for you and there is nothing good about it?
Is it the social act? Of course, being in a circle of individuals that are smoking, it's rather disturbing not to smoke, but that can be avoided by simply selecting the circle you live in.
Is it the pleasure? Being a smoker myself, I must admit that I find pleasure in smoking, even though I am aware of the toxicity of nicotine and all that. But there are so many other pleasures in this world, pleasures which do not kill you slowly, pleasures that do not make your parents sad or angry...
What is it then that makes you "feel like a cigarette"? I think this is one of the most interesting things about humanity. It practices an act that knows is bad for it, consumes its funds, yet does not want to be apart from it a single day.
I suggest watching Guy Ritchie's movie, 'Rock'n'rolla'. There is a part in which Johnny Quid talks about the "little soldiers of death, that are actually trying to kill you." And that, my friend, is the truth.